Hi, it's me again.

You see me here once every few month...

This became my bestest friend I have not keep in contact for very very long. Not that I hate this friend, but the lesser I come here and rant the better?

Cause here is where I deposit my sadness, rage, anger, jealousy... all those bad things that I don't need in my life.

One day I'll have them all deleted. That one day i found true happiness.

He's perfect for part of me. That why it will hurt. We aren't meant to be together. The future is invalid. But yet I can't stop the infatuation. The closer we get, the harder it will be for us, for me.
I'm insecure. Not certain what's next, not certain what's going to happen, like a bird who's free to roam yet there's a thin thread holding it back. This thread might break anytime.
Anytime....

ok time to give myself cry...

Mister not so nice afterall

Have I had to remind myself that however many times I gotten hurt, the next time I shall not fall to fast? Then again reading all these articles help, it proves that I'm still not that screwed up.

Well, this guy, we've been chatting for a month, and finally met up, it was a long await date. But all I remembered after that day was how cheap can this guy be? I'm not a gold digger, but at the same time I do see value in things but not the dollar in every thing. All this time, this guy only left this impression that everything is expensive, staying home/office is cheaper/free. Drinking outside, why not take it to my office? I have a bottle in the office, we just have to buy a mixer... Now seriously... That kind of suggestion for a first date? Hmmm... Made me feel that this issint a date and that guy certainly has treated me like some cheap hook up. I never know why I met him again the second time and the 3rd time was a total disaster...

So we were suppose to have the whole day, I wanted to connect and not just ending up having sex. But I have spent that whole day alone, thinking why did I put off my date with my girlfriends for movie for this guy who have apparently had a rough day at work before and had to sleep in till 3pm, when I waited since afternoon. And have hope that we can have brunch or lunch together, 4pm, 5pm, 5.30pm when he said he would meet, And I still waited... The more I wait the angrier I felt! I have wanted to leave, if only I had just leave, I would listen to the pleas that he is reaching, and that reaching took 30mins! Still we met, but I was believe me, not in my best mode. And who can I blame for that? And for heaven's sake I had to cool down by walking in the drizzling coldness rain, we sat and he started talking, how badly his situation was. What can I do but empathized? But I was still hell mad and I didnt wanna flare up, so I just kept quiet. I was in fact too quiet for his liking... When we had to find a place to drink, again he had to find the CHEAPEST place, where there is promotion and it's more worth. I kept so quiet that he got annoyed at me! Can guys be more dumb? Really... To actually say I'm acting like a child. Yes I am, maybe like a child. At least a child gets treated right. That's it! A few days of ignoring him, he actually turn the fingers and pointed it at me instead. I had to be the one to initiate chat? What am I suppose to reply to emticons of poking hands?? I had enough of this nonsense, as fast as I fell in, as fast as I fall out. He doesn't want to commit anyway. And thinking it throughly I would want to commit to a relationship with a immature guy. I'm glad he didnt want to commit so fast. I could have burn myself. Thank god for that moment.

http://elitedaily.com/dating/pain-falling-guy-kinda-likes/923946/

The Social Status

When the wrong person on the dining table seats across you. You just know it.

He's some of social status. Someone you will describe as filthy rich. While getting high in the middle of the day is like an everyday thing. When you walk in a classy restaurant and everyone in the places knows him. Some one I would place, out of my league. Some one I would never feel as ease with. Rich in the pocket but what about the inside...

I never bothered to want to find out more. Is a person, if you can't handle you'll have to politely, shake hands and say nice meeting you. 

It's a funny experience how talking to too much people online, it reaches the point where you went out one night to have fun in the club, met this group of guys. After the club, deciding to add each other and wah la! Some one in that group you already knew... haha. Awkward moment.

The Startup

Let's just say this blog an inspiration from watching Mr Right Wanted ( Taiwanese Drama ), where in the drama, this beautiful model-like editor wanting to publish a book about online-marriage seeking, to find the reason why people wanted to get married. So she went on the journey of seeking marriage candidates on Facebook. Although she had no plans of getting married. 

This whole situation whereby marriage is a pre-requisite is like a mirror reflecting the various states of love. She saw many kinds of people and also discovered that she doesn’t truly understand what love is all about. Among the various kinds of 100 candidates, Hai-Ning (The chef editor) learnt many things about love: responsibility, promises, missed chances, betrayal, passion… In the end, will she be able to meet true love through this act of marriage-seeking?

Not trying to copy what this drama is about, but I find it familiar to what I'm doing with online dating apps. Chatting with guys, meeting those I find able to converse well with. Chat with meany, met a few, sometimes it goes well, sometimes it doesn't. Initially, starting all these was for work, to meet new people, expand my social circle, help more people in work (professional). But maybe who knows... 

Self introduction: They call me Amy, a pretty decent looking girl in her mid twenties. Working as a wellness coach, main job is to help people with weight management. I hold frequent group workouts and plan personal meal plans. Get people going on improving their health and fitness goal. Keeping them on track is also a task for me. 

Good-looking (that's an under statement ;P) according to many guys I talk with, I have no reason to come to a dating app to "look for guys". That's just kind of pre-judging that beautiful girls can't get online to know more people. But like I've mention before, I'm not looking for love, that's never had came across my mind. Anyway, since I'm meeting these guys, for work purposes, for leisure purpose, there has been many interesting people I have met and talked to... why not make a memory of it...? Of every single person I've met till now and going to... wouldn't it be interesting if in the future I decide to read on the old posts. In the future, of this fast moving world, meeting your future husband through an online dating app wouldn't be surprising... XD